As the nuptuals are getting closer I realize that I am the type of person who as much as I strive for peace and much as I desire contentment, there is something in me that just won't allow that to happen. Jason and I are doing so well and having so much fun together its exciting and I can't wait for him to be my husband. Everything seems too good to be true, I keep wondering when it's going to end. As the snow falls and winter brings beauty and destruction I am not only very aware of my motality but Jason's as well. I am so worried about him all the time. I just desire for him to be safe and I am so worried that something is going to happen and I am going to lose him. I watch myself wanting to keep a tight grip on him and that's impossible. I know that this is all somthing that is designed to steal my joy and the blessing that I know is from the LORD but I fear.
Ok there it is and I lay it out there for all to see my vulnerability